


The Crubio Files

by poledancingcrowley



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 08:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8138020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poledancingcrowley/pseuds/poledancingcrowley
Summary: A collection of Crubio one-shots, made as a gift for my favorite tumblr account: the-real-ted-cruz. Partly crack, partly fluff, partly way too realistic.





	

“Okay, she said she would help us on one condition” Barack Obama coolly as he walked in, closing the door to the Oval Office. Inside were three men: Marco Rubio, John Kasich, and Ted Cruz. The room was filled with sharp tension and fear.

 

Ted Cruz walked over to the President of the United States. “What does she want?”

 

“Your journal, the one with the lock.” He responded.

 

Cruz tightened his jaw. “There is no way in hell," he said through gritted teeth.

 

Marco Rubio put his arm on Cruz's shoulder. “You know what? You’re gonna have to suck it up and take one for the team buddy.”

 

"Do you know why that journal has a lock on it?" Cruz questioned the room. "Do you know why I'm so secretive of it?"

 

"No, literally no one knows why," Kasich replied, sounding sarcastic.

 

"That journal has incriminating evidence..." Ted looked away from the group.

 

"Incriminating evidence of what, Ted?" Marco asked.

 

"Evidence of my past. It could destroy me." He looked back at them.

 

"As president, I can keep you safe, but we need that journal and we need to know what's in it." Barack replied calmly, but firm.

 

"It holds evidence of me being the Zodiac Killer." Ted Cruz whispered, tears forming in his eyes. "I hope you don't hate me." He said, looking directly at Marco.

 

"Dude, literally everyone knows you are. It's no secret." Kasich said.

 

"Yeah, you post about it on your Tumblr pretty often," Obama commented. "And Hillary is convinced that there's evidence of her emails in there. If we give her the journal, she'll do everything she can to destroy Trump. We have to do this."

 

"Then alright," Cruz said. He walked to the side of the room where he had his man-purse and opened it. He pulled out a GirlTech Password Journal.

 

"What's the password?" Obama asked.

 

Cruz took a sigh then pressed the button to unlock it. "Butterlover69," He said.

 

"ACCESS GRANTED" The journal said.

 

He handed the journal to Obama. "Don't let us down. We need to protect this country from the orange spray painted douche."


End file.
